


'Til the Darkness Has Gone

by MorningOwl



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Azure Moon Spoilers, Canon Universe, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Pining, Post-Time Skip, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:15:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23049163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorningOwl/pseuds/MorningOwl
Summary: Dimitri has had a crush on Dedue for as long as he can remember. The prince refuses to act, however, as he catches Dedue with some of the serving girls around the palace. That changes, however, as war draws near.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Dedue Molinaro
Comments: 1
Kudos: 52





	'Til the Darkness Has Gone

As much as those in the royal palace wished for Dimitri to be the prince and leader Faerghus needed, Dimitri was still a teenager. A teenager with no father to discuss these delicate matters with, no mother to ask about the changes he saw, but a teenager.

The fourteen-year-old prince hid behind a trellis of ivy, making himself as small as he could. He curled his awkward, gangly, growing limbs around himself. The sound of a woman’s giggles filled his ears, making him feel… gross? Jealous? Angry? Dimitri couldn’t tell. But he forced himself to peek through the leaves. He made himself watch the scene he stumbled upon.

“You grew these flowers?” The maid smelled the bundle in front of her, a smile on her face.

“Yes. I’ve always enjoyed gardening,” Dedue responded. He tucked a stray lock of hair away from her face, causing her to blush again. Dimitri suddenly felt empty on that side of his face, like he needed that same touch to feel normal again. The bubbling grossness in his stomach flared up.

“They’re beautiful.”

“Just like you.”

Dimitri squeezed his eyes shut and hugged himself more. He didn’t understand why his heart pounded in his ears as she giggled. Dedue was his own person. He wasn’t attached to Dimitri at the hip. Yet, Dimitri wanted nothing more in this moment. He wanted Dedue’s attention. And this maid was getting in the way.

Dimitri saw Dedue lean down and give the maid a kiss on the lips. The prince couldn’t watch any more of this. He scrambled up to his feet as fast as he could, and ran back to the palace.

~

The horse’s mane was beautiful. Dimitri fell in love with the steed the moment he was gifted her for his sixteenth birthday. He made sure to spend time with her himself, not allowing the stable hands to do much beyond feed her. He wanted to take care of her. He wanted to bond with this horse.

He had snuck out of his lessons early to spend some extra time with her. He wasn’t fantastic at braiding, but he wanted to braid and weave the last of the fall flowers into her mane. His hands were clumsy, but he managed to do simple ones. She would look lovely upon their next ride.

Dimitri was surprised, however, when he heard the stable door open. He instinctively jumped behind his horse, not wanting to be caught skipping his studying. He knew he should be working towards the exam to get into the Officer’s Academy, but it was the last thing he wanted right now. So he hid as he braided.

The prince kept an eye out at the opening of his horse’s stall, however, to see who was there. He heard giggling and a high pitched voice saying ‘come here’.

He saw a girl walk by, her hair in two ponytails by each ear. She looked to be a kitchen girl, if Dimitri recognized the shoulders of the uniform quickly enough. She giggled as she looked back at the figure following her and dragged him along.

Dimitri had to stop himself from gasping when he saw Dedue happily being dragged by his hand.

“Over here.”

“Is this stall empty?”

“Yes. And they just put fresh hay as well.”

Dimitri quietly crept out towards the door of his horse’s stall, peering out as the two disappeared behind the wooden walls. Careful that the door wouldn’t creak, Dimitri stepped out, making sure he wouldn’t be seen.

“Are you sure we won’t be caught?”

“I am sure. His Highness is at his lessons, and I won’t be needed for another hour.”

“Oh, pity,” the girl sighed. “What if I want you for longer than an hour?”

Dedue chuckled. He actually chuckled. “Maybe another time.”

Dimitri heard the telltale sound of wet, passionate kisses, a distinctive moan, the rustle of fabric and hay. He crept closer, knowing in his heart he wouldn’t like what he would see. That same, familiar pang in his heart hit him.

Dimitri had only caught his vassal with girls a few times. Far within the spectrum of normal. Well, what Dimitri heard was normal. He hadn’t had any experience himself…

“It was your birthday last week, right Dedue?”

“It was.”

Dimitri managed to make his way to the stall they were in, and crouched on his toes to peek through the gap between the wall and the door. He couldn’t look over the stall door; he’d be too obvious. He didn’t see much. He mostly saw Dedue’s back, uniform still perfect. He saw the hem of the girl’s skirt, although the impossibly large man covered the rest of her body. Dedue hovered over her, legs on either side of her hips and hands beside her head. For a second, Dimitri imagined himself in that position. Not hovering over a girl, but under Dedue.

“Well, I suppose I should give you my gift.” The hem of her skit disappeared as she pulled it up, leaving her legs bare.

“… No smallclothes? That’s quite bold of you.”

“I wanted to be prepared.”

The sound of kissing resumed, and all of a sudden, her small, delicate hands were on the waistband of Dedue’s trousers. She pulled down the waistband, and Dimitri saw dark skin, scars from battle, the barest hint of the top of Dedue’s-

Dimitri couldn’t take it. He turned bright red and scrambled back. His heart was pounding. Tears welled up in his eyes. Why was he feeling like this? Why did the sight of her infuriate him? He felt a pit in this stomach, and the barest hint of a voice in his ear.

_She’s in your way. She’s taking the only good memory of that day away from you_.

Dimitri flinched. His elbow hit the door of another stable. No, he couldn’t listen to that voice. He couldn’t listen to any of those voices right now. Dedue could live his own life, even if that meant that Dimitri wouldn’t ever know the feeling of his lips, the warmth of his touch…

“What was that?” Dedue asked.

“Probably just a horse kicking. Don’t worry about it. Just worry about us.”

Dimitri scrambled to his feet, needing to get away. He ran away on tiptoes to avoid alerting them to his presence.

~

“Naive and uptight is no way to live your life!” Sylvain shrugged as he spoke.

Dimitri felt his stomach drop. He wasn’t naïve, was he? And he was uptight because he had to be! He was the prince, after all. The reputation of the Kingdom rode on his shoulders.

“Naïve and uptight? Yes, well, compared to you, I imagine I’m downright run-of-the-mill.”

Dimitri crossed his arms. This little talk was to convince Sylvain to stop his skirt chasing, not comment on Dimitri’s romantic adventures. Well, hypothetical romantic adventures.

The Officer’s Academy was proving to be nicer than originally thought. While people still called him by his title, Dimitri’s fellow classmates treated him more as an equal. They sparred with him, they took meals with him, and even their professor treated him as just another student. It was wonderful.

Except Dedue didn’t. Dimitri was devastated when he found out that Dedue had to stay on the bottom floor of the dorms, while Dimitri was on the top floor. Dimitri wanted to fight back, to threaten his enrollment if Dedue wasn’t next to him, but he already fought so hard to make sure Dedue had a place in the Academy as well. He couldn’t take that away from Dedue. As much as the prince hated it, he complied.

He never told his secret to anyone. His love for Dedue. He finally was able to put a word on it. The emotions confused him when he was younger, but he figured it out. That being said, he still called it a childhood crush, even if he had it since he was thirteen. It was silly to imagine anything of them being together. The nobility would revolt if a man from Duscur and the Prince were together. And besides, Dimitri had only seen Dedue with girls. He wouldn’t take interest in Dimitri.

_His people were slaughtered. You must kill those who hurt him._

Dimitri blinked away the voice. He hoped Sylvain didn’t notice.

“So how about this – I’ll try to behave, and you’ll try to loosen up?”

Dimitri shook his head. Maybe this would help him. Maybe Sylvain was right. He couldn’t dwell on Dedue forever. And there were lots of girls he knew the nobility would approve of…

Dimitri sighed. “If I do as you wish, will you truly promise to improve your behavior?”

“What’d I just say? Of course I’ll behave!”

~

There was a knock at Sylvain’s door. Dimitri groaned at the noise, covering himself with the blankets Sylvain gave him to sleep on the floor.

Dimitri had heard of the rumors that some of the girls thought him attractive, but he wasn’t prepared for this. They swarmed him. They all wanted to go for tea. One in particular was especially bold, asking him to walk the monastery grounds with him in the moonlight. Dimitri had never been so scared in his life.

“Oh uh, hey Dedue,” Sylvain said. Dimitri felt his throat constrict. Oh goddess, what would Dedue think? Would Dedue assume? Would he suspect something was up?

“Hello. I was wondering where his Highness was. He wasn’t in his room this morning, and a number of girls have asked me about his location,” Dedue spoke as if it was just a fact of life, but Dimitri knew. He could feel the confusion in the larger man’s voice.

“Uhhh…”

“Judging by the blonde hair coming from under those blankets, I presume he stayed overnight in your room.”

Dimitri wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there.

~

The prince understood the need for the ball, but it was just so much. Despite the smiling faces around him, the freshly pressed uniforms, the carefree spirit of the spinning skirts, Dimitri just couldn’t put his heart into the dancing.

And not just because the voices were getting louder.

A few girls had asked Dedue to dance with them. He graciously said yes, twirling them in time with the music. He had an easy smile on his face. Dimitri didn’t realize he was staring.

Dedue didn’t do the complicated moves, but he seemed to have the ones he did know mastered. Dimitri wondered if there were balls in Duscur. Would he even be accepted at one? What would the dances be like? From what Dimitri knew about Duscur – far less than he wished to know – he would expect the outfits to be colorful and stunning. Much different than the black and gold of the ball he was currently at.

Dimitri wanted that easy smile directed at him. He wanted the fondness in those eyes on his form. He wanted… he wanted to dance with Dedue.

He wanted Dedue.

Dedue bowed to the lady as he finished the dance. Dimitri felt the grip of the darkness form from his heart. It threatened to overtake him. The voices would get louder. They always would. He could feel the beginnings of a headache form and-

“Your Highness? You look pale.”

The darkness disappeared the moment Dedue placed the back of his hand on Dimitri’s forhead. The prince knew he was just checking for his temperature, but the touch chased away his worries. Dedue’s hands were rough but warm. It grounded the prince. The voices went back to their whisper.

“Sorry. It’s just… overwhelming.”

“I… know what you mean.” Dedue seemed to blush and look at the floor. “It’s hard to… open up like this.”

Dimitri quirked an eyebrow, trying not to lament that Dedue removed his hand. He rarely saw the larger man blush like that. If some girl hurt Dedue…

“Your Highness, I believe the Professor would like a dance.”

“… Of course.” Dimitri walked in the direction of the Professor, but not before looking back at the man he called his best friend. He could have sworn he caught Dedue staring.

~

The cell was cold.

The cell was leaking.

The cell was the last place Dimitri would call home before his head was severed from his neck.

He sat, wrapped up in the tattered remains of his cape from his uniform. Blood stained the rich blue, leaving it stiff and sticky. The prince’s eye had just begun to regain sight, although he wouldn’t need it for much longer. He would be executed in the wee hours of the morning, another victim to Edelgard’s conquest. His bloodline would die with him, as well as 400 years of Kingdom history.

The voices screamed now. They screamed her name. They screamed for revenge. He would join their ghosts soon, a failure to those who he swore to avenge.

He was a shell of a man. He knew the only reason his name would be remembered, unlike the commoners that had already paid the price of Edelgard’s wrath, was because of his lineage. Not what he did, not what he accomplished.

The last prince of Faerghus was executed when the Empress took control of the land.

Dimitri heard a door open, but thought nothing of it. It was probably some guard changing shift, or bring him the meager amount of water they had supplied him.

He didn’t think anything of it until he heard a strangled voice, a punch, the sound of a body hitting the floor.

Leather padded on stone, and then a figure appeared in front of his cell. He was in armor, tall and strong.

Dedue.

Dimitri tried to find his voice, but it just came out as a chocked sob. Dedue managed to get the door open. He was about to say something, but it didn’t matter. Dimitri flung himself into Dedue’s arms, embracing the man. Even though Dedue held a few things, he hugged back, squeezing Dimitri tight.

“Your Highness, there isn’t much time. You have minutes.”

“Dedue… please don’t leave me.”

“I can’t come with you. I brought you a lance and three days food. You must escape.”

“I… I won’t. I won’t leave you. You mean so much to me.”

Dedue pulled back, tears in his eyes. Dimitri hadn’t seen Dedue cry often. Mostly on the anniversaries of the Tragedy of Duscur. But his face, right now, knowing he was crying for Dimitri…

And then Dedue pulled Dimitri into a forceful kiss. His rough lips, littered with new scars, against Dimitri’s cracked lips. He thrust his tongue into Dimitri’s mouth, tangling their tongues. Dimitri melted into the kiss. The kiss was sloppy and rough but it meant the world to Dimitri.

Dedue was the one to pull back. He thrust the lance and the food into Dimitri’s arms, and pushed Dimitri out of the cell.

“Your Highness… Dimitri… I love you. I love you so much. If you love me, live for me. You only have a few minutes. Run, please, run!”

Dimitri was too dazed to protest. His instincts as a fighter kicked in. His feet were moving before he realized he was running. Tears filled his eyes, but that didn’t stop him. He knew where he was running. He knew the passage out.

The boar prince ran.

~

Dimitri stared up at the ceiling of the abandoned barn he lay in. He had run the entire day, only stopping once to refill the water skin Dedue gave him. His body was exhausted. The hay under him crinkled as his muscles twitched. He tried to eat, but food only made him ill right now. A steady stream of tears fell down his face.

Dedue was dead.

They most definitely executed Dedue in his place. The most wonderful man in Fodlan. The cut his head off without asking who he was, what he liked, what he stood for. The man who would fill the country with flowers, if given the chance. Executed for crimes he didn’t commit.

Dimitri sobbed. He had lost everything. His country, his home, his family, his friends, his professor, his love. Everything, gone in an instant, because his step-sister decided that she wanted to rule the world.

He didn’t know what he would do without Dedue. His formative years, the years he developed his sense of right and wrong, ethics and morals, had all been with Dedue at his side. Through every pain, Dedue was there.

A voice whispered in Dimitri’s head.

They shared a bedroll that first night. Before Dedue even spoke the common tongue. They held each other, crying about the battle that just destroyed everything they knew.

The voice grew louder.

Dedue might have been open in his vow to protect Dimitri, but Dimitri was silent in his. All he did, all his plans to rebuild Duscur, they were to protect Dedue. Everything was for Dedue. All to make Dedue happy.

_Avenge Duscur for me._

“W-what?” Dimitri’s eyes were wide, staring at nothing. His pupils darted around, small and unseeing. This voice was new, but not unfamiliar.

_She will steal what is left of Duscur’s resources. She will take the last humanity left from my home_.

“She will,” Dimitri repeated.

_Dimitri… I love you. I love you so much._

A fresh wave of tears flooded down. “I love you too.”

_Kill Edelgard for me. Avenge me._

Dimitri took a shaky breath. He closed his eyes. His chest heaved. He always imagined his first kiss to be sweet and romantic. Not filled with pain and longing like it was. His first kiss was with the love of his life, and that man was dead.

Dimitri made a vow to never kiss anyone else.

“I will, Dedue. I will kill her for you. For everyone.”

~

_You’re wasting time._

“I know…”

_How can they help you?_

“They can’t.”

_Their blood will be on your hands if they die on the battlefield._

“They choose to be here.”

_The people are staring._

“Dimitri?”

The prince whipped his head around to look at the professor. The telltale click of her heels grew louder as she walked on the stone floor of the cathedral.

“What?” He snapped.

“Who are you talking to?”

Dimitri suppressed a snarl.

_She’ll try and stop you if she finds out._

_You could just kill her now._

_How do you know she won’t kill you?_

“It’s none of your buisness,” he responded. He knew his voice was curt. He knew she had done nothing wrong. But he couldn’t help it. She wouldn’t understand.

“People are trying to pray, Dimitri. You’re scaring them.”

“That sounds like their problem.”

The professor sighed. The only reason Dimitri didn’t snap her neck right there was because of the genuine look on her face. Something about her made him want to believe she was telling the truth. “The next battle is at the Great Bridge of Myrddin. This can turn the tides of the war. It’s only natural that people want to come to this holy place to pray for victory.”

Dimitri logically knew she was right. But logic wasn’t winning in his head. “I will not leave.”

“I won’t ask you to,” Dimitri quirked an eyebrow at that. He wasn’t expecting that answer. “I’m just asking you to keep your talking down to a whisper.”

“… I suppose I can do that.”

“Thank you,” the Professor gave a sad smile. “We’ll have one more meeting about strategy tomorrow, and then we head out the day after.”

Dimitri grunted in response and turned back towards the rubble. He heard her steps grow further from him as she disappeared among the praying crowd.

_…Kill those who hurt me._

“I will, my love,” Dimitri whispered.

~

The battle was proving to be fierce. The empire played dirty. Some Alliance lord had just joined the fray, attacking from behind. Dimitri had to bark an order at Annette to make sure she got out of the way of an axe.

Dimitri couldn’t fall here. This was the first step to finally killing her. Taking this bridge would mean access to the Empire. He could finally get his revenge.

The battlefield was filled with shouts and screams. Metal hit metal, horses raced past him. A mounted unit started charging, clearly going for the injured Felix. Dimitri took a swing, taking the horse’s legs out. He quickly jabbed his spear into the neck of the Empire soldier, giving Mercedes just enough time to run over and heal Felix. If the soldier made a sound as he died, it was drowned out by the noise of the battle, and the noise in his head.

The voices pushed him further. He felt like they were in control. They told him how to move, how to kill.

_Killing is what you’re best at._

_Yes, very good._

_This is what you were trained for._

_You will crush her skull._

“Your Highness! Apologies for the late arrival.”

_The Empire will…_

One of those voices was not from his head. Dimitri took another soldier down, and whipped his head around.

There he was. Like a beacon of light on a dark sea. He seemed to have a traditional Duscur scarf, and a more traditional Duscur hair cut, but he was distinctly, unequivocally, Dedue. The man Dimitri wrote off as dead five years ago. The man Dimitri gave his heart to. He was there, really, really there. So close and yet seemingly across the way. Dimitri wanted to drop everything and run to him, make sure he was really real.

“Dedue… You’re alive… How?!” Dimitri shouted across the field. Every other person fighting for the Kingdom turned their head, eyes wide and unbelieving. Even Seteth’s jaw was dropped.

The first to recover from the shock was an Alliance soldier, who ran at Dedue sword first. Dedue cut him down like it was nothing. “We can discuss it later. For now, allow me to join your forces.”

Dimitri nodded, feeling both alive and numb. He turned back to the battle in front of him. He took down another archer. Distantly, he heard Sylvain shout “Holy shit, Dedue is ripped!”

~

The moment all the soldiers were killed, the moment the enemy had dropped to the floor, Dimitri dropped his lance and ran to Dedue. He didn’t even stop to talk to Byleth. He didn’t stop to talk with Rodrigue. There was only one person on his mind.

“Dedue! Why… How are you here? You died. Five years ago…”

“I was saved by my brothers. Men of Duscur.”

Dimitri couldn’t imagine. Something must have happened as Dimitri ran. That must have been why he wasn’t pursued like how he would have expected. If Duscur soldiers raided the castle to get Dedue out, the Empire soldiers likely would have been preoccupied with that.

“Those people you were with… They were of Duscur? And they saved you?”

Dedue nodded, just as polite as he was five years ago. “Your Highness. I asked that you fulfill your long-held desire, did I not? Allow me to once again act as your sword and shield. Please, let me witness your triumph. I want behold the moment your wish is finally granted.”

If Dimitri was a weaker man, he would have broken down right there. After all this time, after all this pain, Dedue still wanted to be at Dimitri’s side. He wanted to see Dimitri succeed. Dimitri didn’t know if he deserved it. Dimitri didn’t know if he could protect Dedue in return.

“Dedue… Of course. And in exchange, I ask that you swear something to me, here and now. Do not ever throw your life away again. Understood?” Dimitri couldn’t bear the thought of losing the man again. If this was all he could do to ensure that Dedue lived a happy and full life, this was how Dimitiri was going to do it.

“Your Highness…” The last time Dimitri heard Dedue speak with that fondness was at… was in… “Understood.”

~

The flickering light of candles could be seen in the cracks of Dedue’s door. Dimitri sucked in a shaky breath, still unbelieving.

His hand hovered at the door, poised to knock, but something prevented him. He wondered if the imagined the whole thing, if someone else had moved into Dedue’s dorm. If that voice was still just in his head.

But… the light flickered.

Dimitri gently knocked.

He had to restrain himself from pulling Dedue into a hug on the battlefield. He needed to feel that Dedue was really alive. He wanted to feel his warmth and his pulse and skin. He wanted to touch Dedue and never let go.

The door cracked open. Even without armor, Dedue was imposing. While he might not have gained height, he certainly gained muscle. His tunic clung to his body, stretching where his muscles were at their largest. It took Dimitri’s breath away.

“Your Highness,” Dedue said, with no surprise in his voice.

“May… may I come in?”

Dedue stepped to the side, letting Dimitri in. The prince looked around. These rooms seemed so much bigger five years ago. Now, with two grown men in it, it seemed impossibly small.

“Dedue I… still don’t understand how you’re alive.”

Dedue closed the door behind Dimitri’s cape. “It wasn’t long before the guards found me in the cell instead of you. They… well…” Dedue glanced away from Dimitri’s face. “It was decided that I would be executed as well. The original plan was to find you, and execute us together. About two hours before I was to be executed, the people who saved me raided the palace cells. I was too injured to walk, so they had to carry me out while fighting off the soldiers.”

Dimitri gasped. “Who hurt you?” He asked before he could think. He would kill those who-

“It doesn’t matter. They are long dead.” Dedue walked over, gently removing Dimitri’s cape from his shoulders. “After, I had to spend a year in Duscur recovering. I wanted to find you, but I knew if I pushed myself, I would not have made it.”

Dimitri closed his eyes. He tried not to throw himself at Dedue at the slightest touch. Once the cape was removed, Dedue started in on Dimitri’s armor. It felt like old times, better times. Dimtiri began to help.

“You’re here,” Dimitri stated. He wanted to say so much, but didn’t know where to begin.

“I am. And you’re here too. After that year I was...” Dedue took a breath. “I was afraid you had died. I was so scared.”

“I thought…” Dimitri’s vision began to blur. Tears streaked down his face.

The last bit of armor fell to the ground. The sudden cold of his tunic and trousers alone was quickly replaced by the warmth of Dedue’s arms around him. A sob left his body, and he wrapped his arms around Dedue.

He dreamt about this. He dreamt about holding Dedue again. He wanted nothing more in the world, and now he had it. The man he loved, the man he cherished. He was real, and so very, very alive. Dimitri buried his face in Dedue’s neck, and Dedue did the same.

“Never leave me,” Dimitri said.

“I won’t,” Dimitri could have sworn he heard a choke in Dedue’s voice.

They stayed like that for a long while, just holding each other. Occasionally, one would sigh or let out a sob, but that only made the other hold on tighter. For once, for a blessed moment, the voices in Dimitri’s head were silent.

“Dedue…” Dimitri started.

“Yes?”

“Back in that cell. What you said.”

“Hm?”

“Did you mean it?”

The pause made Dimitri’s heart stop. The wait felt like an eternity. He buried his face in Dedue’s tunic.

“Of course I did. I’ve loved you for so long. I-”

That was enough for Dimitri to pull Dedue into a forceful kiss. Dedue made a noise of surprise, but quickly melted into Dimitri’s touch.

The kiss was as unpracticed as last time, but Dimitri didn’t care. He needed this. He needed Dedue’s touch and lips on him. The kiss was needy and desperate, as if making up for lost time. Dedue captured Dimitri’s bottom lip and gently sucked, and the prince thought he might lose himself right there. He barely noticed as Dedue walked them over to the bed. He leaned them down on it, taking sure that Dimitri didn’t hit his head. For a second, just the briefest second, Dimitri thought like he was captured again, and his instinct was to struggle. But then Dedue sighed into Dimitri’s mouth, and the world seemed right again. He felt so safe with Dedue, a feeling the prince hadn’t had in years.

Much to Dimitri’s dismay, they had to break for air. When they pulled back, Dimitri’s eyes locked with Dedue’s. They both panted, trying to regain composure they both knew they didn’t have. Dedue’s eyes shone with something Dimitri had only seen once before. There was love in his eyes, just like when they had to part five years ago. But there was something different from that time. Where, five years ago, Dedue’s eyes held longing, now they held warmth.

“I love you too, Dedue. I’ve loved you for so long.”

“Your Hi—Dimitri… I’m sorry our first kiss had to be like that. I couldn’t… I couldn’t leave you without kissing you once.”

For the first time in five years, a small smile grew on Dimitri’s face. “It’s okay. You being alive and safe are the most important things.”

Dedue let out a breathy laugh. He leaned in and gave Dimitri a chaste kiss. “You are amazing.”

Dimitri smiled, and scooted over so Dedue could rest fully on the bed with him. The bed was small, and could barely fit Dedue alone, probably, so they had to press up against each other to fit. Not that Dimitri minded.

There was a calm over the room. For the time, the voices were quiet. Edelgard didn’t matter. The Empire didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that Dimitri had Dedue back.

The prince was snapped back out of his thoughts when Dedue let out a chuckle. Dimitri looked with curiosity.

“I never thought you would love me. You’re the prince. You could have had any lady you wanted,” Dedue said. He raised a hand to gently stroke Dimitri’s cheek.

Dimitri looked away from Dedue. A slight blush dusted his cheeks. “I always thought girls were the ones chasing after you.”

“Oh. No. They weren’t,” Dedue said plainly.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“But…”

“Hm?”

Dimitri took a breath. “I saw you, back before we came to the officer’s academy. I didn’t mean to snoop but…”

It was Dedue’s turn to blush. “Ah. I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“No, I-” Goddess, they were bad at this. Sylvain didn’t warn him about this awkwardness. “I shouldn’t have…”

“Those relationships were nothing. Puppy love, mostly. And the occasional dare.”

“Dare?”

“Some of the girls were dared to try and pretend to have romantic feelings for me. It turns out they were just doing it to say they were with someone from Duscur.”

The smile feel from Dedue’s face, and Dimitri felt rage consume his heart. It was the same pain of rage that consumed his past five years, except this time the goal wasn’t revenge. It was to protect Dedue. So his sour feelings about the girls back then were right.

“But then I realized that the person I loved was right next to me. I reswore myself to you, thinking that even if we couldn’t be together romantically because of status, I would always be at your side.”

Dimitri looked back into Dedue’s eyes. They were so earnest and loving. They spoke just as much as Dedue’s words did.

“I love you, Dedue. I should have said it that night. You deserve someone better than a monster like me-”

“Don’t ever say that, Dimitri. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but by your side.”

“Those girls… did they hurt you?”

“… It hurt at the time, but it is in the past.”

“I-… I wish I knew. Those dares would have stopped.”

Dedue leaned forward and gave Dimitri a kiss on the forehead. “It is in the past. And I’m sure you had your instances with serving girls.”

The tips of Dimitri’s ears went red. Did Dedue not know? Is that why Dedue would occasionally leave him alone? “Uh, no, not really?”

“…Really?”

Dimitri’ suddenly felt Dedue’s gaze. “My first kiss was the one in…”

“Your Highness…” A sadness washed over Dedue’s eyes. “I… I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

“No,” Dimitri quickly reached up and stroked Dedue’s face with his thumb. “Don’t ever apologize. I wouldn’t want my first kiss with anyone else. If… If they hadn’t saved you, I’m glad I got that one.”

“You deserve a proper first kiss. One that’s sweet and soft.”

“I won’t object to one now.”

Dedue smiled and leaned in. Dimitri was unsure what to do. He never had a kiss that wasn’t desperate and needy and borderline vicious. He never really thought about what it would be like to kiss someone with love and tenderness. He had written off kissing anyone so many years ago.

But now Dedue’s lips were on his, and Dimitri felt nothing but warmth. It was so much slower than the other kisses. Instead of a fire that threatened to consume him, this kiss gave off a comfortable warmth, like being wrapped in a blanket. Dimtiri tried to follow what Dedue was doing, kiss with the same tenderness, but he was unpracticed. Despite the strange noise, the little bites, the occasional clank of teeth, Dimitri wouldn’t exchange this for the world. He hadn’t felt such peace since before Duscur.

Dedue pulled them closer as they continued to kiss. Their bodies pressed up against each other. The bed just barely fit them both, but that just meant they had to be closer to each other. Dimitri felt Dedue’s hand wander, starting at his cheek, threading through the blonde, and then traveling down his back to rest on the curve of his rear.

Dimitri felt himself flush. No one had ever touched him like this. It felt so intimate. The touch burned through his trousers. As much as Dimitri wanted adore Dedue’s hands, he never thought about Dedue’s touch. It didn’t help that his hand caused another reaction, one difficult to hide while pressed up against the other man.

From the feel of things, Dedue had a similar reaction.

Dimitri had to break the kiss for a second. His face was red from embarrassment. He remembered the first night he woke having spoiled his pajamas. He had been having this most wonderful dream. Dedue was the one giving him flowers and sneaking him into the stable. When the prince woke up, he was far too embarrassed to tell anyone but the palace doctor about what he did in his sleep.

“Dimitri?” Dedue asked, concerned.

“Sorry… I never…” Dedue moved his hand, just a bit, and it caused Dimitri to thrust. The prince buried his face in Dedue’s shoulder to hide.

“I’m going to assume that you never lay with anyone, correct?”

Dimitri nodded.

Dedue removed his hand, and the spot where it rested felt cold and empty. But then Dimitri felt Dedue undo the laces of Dimitri’s trousers. His hands brushed against his already sensitive cock, on edge from the roughness of the fabric. A jolt of electricity shot from between his legs all over his body, leaving him moaning Dedue’s name.

Dimitri began kissing Dedue’s neck, wishing he could taste his love. The cold air hit his erection, making Dimitri hiss. Dedue pulled down his trousers to his knees, and then began undoing the laces of his own.

Dimitri whined, and, almost unconsciously, started thrusting his hips against Dedue. He heard Dedue moan at that, and his normally practiced fingers fumbled. He all but pushed his trousers down when the laces were finally free enough to fit over his hips.

Dimitri gasped against Dedue’s skin. The feeling was so much. Dimitri had touched himself before, but it had been years and this was so, so different. Their cocks touched, and Dedue grasped them both.

Dimitri thrust with Dedue’s movements, erratically and unpracticed. He held Dedue close. As close as he could without hurting Dedue, yet still not close enough. Dedue panted in his ear. Dimitri gripped Dedue’s tunic. All Dimitri could do was feel, feel everything, feel everything.

Dedue was alive and loved him. Dedue was real and touching him. Dedue was his everything. Five years ago, Dimitri vowed to never kiss another. Now, that vow brought Dimitri joy.

“I-I’m so c-close, Dedue…” When did Dimitri lose his breath?

“Come for me…”

Dimitri’s body jolted as he came. His orgasm hit him, leaving stars behind his eyes. His strong arms became limp around his love. Dedue came quickly after him, his body slumping against Dimitri’s.

Their bodies were a tangled mess of limbs and sweat. The only sound in the room was their pants and sighs of contentment. Come morning, war would once again be upon them. The realities of their pain would once again whisper in their ears. But, much to the dismay of the ghosts that haunted them, they could chase away the cold of reality in each other arms at night.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

~

The professor smiled. Dimitri looked to her one more time for strength. She gave him a knowing nod, and Dimitri looked out at his court.

Faces stared at him, but they were real. Some more familiar than others. Lord Gautier of Margrave; Lady Dominic, Head Mistress of the Royal School of Sorcery; Lord Aegir, Prime Minister of the Adrestian Territory, His Royal Majesty Riegan of Almyra; they all smiled at him, as did all of their friends.

Dimitri felt the cold metal of the crown placed upon his head. It was real now.

He looked over at the throne at his right hand. Dedue’s eyes were closed as they placed the crown on his head. He seemed to be controlling his breathing. It was just metal upon their heads, but it meant so much more: the restoration of Duscur, the unification of Fodlan, their lasting love.

“Long live the King and the King’s Consort!” Sylvain shouted, surprising Felix at the sudden loudness.

Dimitri took Dedue’s hand in his own. He smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> I set out to write porn and I ended up writing angst. Whoops.
> 
> Also, my beta has the flu, so forgive any mistakes.


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